and now I'm high

I've been wondering the past few days, what and how exactly is being happy. Not really going through a mid-life crisis, mid-life is still lightyears away, its more like a post teenage dilemma when the attractions and comforts of being a teenager are too difficult to shed and the gravitational pull of an adult life, with thousands to fret about and millions to plan ahead, is impossible to escape. And thinking about this got me thinking even more about what the duck actually makes me happy, or high!

General consensus would state that its not the same. High would be 'intoxication experienced from drugs' and happiness would be 'a state of mind such as contentment, pleasure or joy'. I do agree, yes they're a bit different and given a choice I'd rather prefer being high than happy because I believe happiness doesn't necessarily mean high as well; but high guarantees happiness. But this is not the high one gets after skolling 3 shots of absolut or by smoking up 50 bucks worth of grass; its a feeling no intoxicant offers. It can't be commercial, cause if it is, its happiness and that is the one prime difference which separates either of them. Happiness is commercial; it can be bought, you can carry it in your pocket, you can roam around in it, you can listen to music or play on it... High is different and I decided to separate these two.

Yes, the post is indeed part rambling, part frustration and part reflection and realization. I had taken a lot for granted the past few years; I could afford to do that where I was, but its different now. Though commerical, happiness is expensive. No doubt, it will keep coming in various shapes and forms (hopefully a chiselled one ;-) but for now, high is where I want to be; its free and right in front, if one's eyes are open.

Listening to a new song that you just can't seem to get enough off; or for that matter, listening to an old favorite, the feeling after watching a movie you've waited for over an year, no matter if it turns out to be worse than the worst hindi movies, receiving a mail you've been waiting for, iPod, headphones and ample amount of gas in your bike, sharing a smoke with old friends while talking about school and the crazy stuff we did, solving differences with an old best friend and being as close and as abusive as before, sharing your bed with a snoring dog who just refuses to let go off the blanket and then being woken up the next morning by the same creature standing on your chest, licking your face wet, having a best friend who has been one for over 10 years, coming across an old toy you used to play with when you were 8 years old, being ambushed by a litter of pups biting your feet and trying to climb up on you, sharing a drink with your dad on Father's day... Its all right there. This and plenty more. I didn't even need to go looking out for it; smack! it just hit me.

Though it is a bit rough, I kinda like this situation right now. Its like sitting on top off an open pressure cooker blocking it with your butt while smoking weed. You know its going to blow any second but who the chuck cares, you're high ;-).

There was once a Canadian film on it, James Blunt and plenty others wrote songs on it; I tried to define it. Its a feeling that takes you to another place for a few moments of heaven on earth.