model brother

He does birthday parties, marriages, anniversaries and private functions as well.

lust day

I'm not the most enthusiastic when it comes to celebrating these so called 'days'. If allowed to be an extremist, I'm totally against them. They are no more than a means to burn not one but multiple holes in your pocket! The sad part? Every year and you're supposed to be a nice guy and roll that right way.

The first thing that comes to mind whenever I think or even hear the work 'Valentine' are two naked, winged figures I feel like beating to death. Or if given access to a shotgun, shooting them just to see how far they fall. Don't get me wrong; I have not suffered the cupid's choke hold (read: love) earlier, suffered a heartbreak and now saying these things with a sour taste. I'm just too damn intelligent to fall for all of this, which I hope most of the men are too. Statistics show that women purchase 85% of all valentine gifts!

I presume that most men don't understand valentine or either don't want to understand it. I'm sure I'll be considered normal in the male universe when I say this. Lust I understand, love I don't. So I'd rather have a day to celebrate lust than love! Perhaps we can have a division. Valentine's day celebrated by women and 'Lust Day' by men.

Of course, both sexes need to be accommodating enough to participate in the 'revelry' planned by the other. I can imagine what would be on the cover of a card for Lust Day and what can be written inside, best left to imagination right now.

In the end, even though I might find a way to live with and bear Valentine's Day and all the crap, I still wouldn't stop to find new, innovative and horrible ways to kill those naked flying idiots!

Plagiarized from my brother's mind.

hehe

A Girl enters a bar & sees a cute boy.

Girl: Hey, what are you drinking?

Boy: It's 'Magic Beer'

Girl: What magic does it have?

Boy: Wanna see?

Boy jumps out of the window, flies in the air, climbs a couple of sky scrapers, & jumps back in.

Girl (amazed): I can't believe it. I must have this drink, too.

Boy to Bartender: Give her what I'm having.

Girl drinks the beer, jumps out of the window, falls from 4th floor, and dies.

Bartender: You know what Superman... You're an asshole when you're drunk!
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